XT11 FOR SALE – $120 OBO (san jose west) pic (Story #(19)

Ad# 1:

Unit dimensions, 4.8’W x 2.9’H x 6’D

Display size, 3.81’W x 2.25’H; 4.3’ diag

Display resolution, 480 x 272 pixels

Weight: 161.6 tons

Battery: any store bought will do

Battery life: up to 6 hours (when not in use)

Waterproof: no

Built-in memory: internal solid state

Accepts data cards: microSD™ card (not included)

Instruction manuals included

Need I say more?  Come pick it up.

408-450-7850 (10am-5pm Mon-Fri).

Cash only, please.

  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Ad# 3:

I know that with the economy the way it is, you’re not feeling like you can spend the money on an extra XT11, right?  But then again, with the economy the way it is, can you really afford to ignore this deal?  Think about what the XT11 can do.  The days when you need a bunch of guys to move things around is over.  Now, you just focus the View-Scan on what you want moved, flip a switch, and let the XT do its thing.  Really, all you need is this little box.

Aside from a few scratches on the Consolidator, and the Re-Imaginator freezing up every once in a while causing a slight hiccup in the Identity Spectrometer, this machine works like a charm.  Though, I really don’t recommend using it for people or pets, or food products of any kind.

408-450-7850 (10am-5pm Mon-Fri).

Cash only, please.

  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Ad #6:

Come on, people.  It’s not every day that an XT11 comes on sale, and you’re never going to find one at this price.  NEVER.  This thing is in mint condition.  Barely used, and I have all the manuals.  I’ll even throw in the Multi-Tasker, which originally cost me an extra 200.

The XT11 is great for moving things around the house or as a back-up teleporter, though I’d try not to use it for people or favorite pets, but that’s just me.

Dimensions provided upon request.

408-450-7850 (10am-5pm Mon-Fri and 11-3 Sat).

Cash only, please.

  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Ad# 10:

Hello?  Where is everyone?  Did I mention this is an XT11 at a great deal?

408-450-7850 (10am-5pm Mon-Fri and 11-3 Sat, and every other Sunday).

  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Ad# 15:

I can go down to 100.  Cash or check.  That’s the best I can do.  Really.

408-450-7850 (10am-5pm Mon-Fri and 11-3 Sat, and every other Sunday except before major holidays).

  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Ad# 21:

OK.  Some people have been questioning the XT11, lately.  I get that.  I’ve been watching CNN, too, and I know what Dr. Gupta’s been saying.  People want to know if a thing, after it’s teleported, stays the same thing or if the process changes it somehow.  They want to know if they teleport Fluffy, if the teleported Fluffy is still their Fluffy or something else.  Listen, I get it.  But the XT11 is guaranteed to copy and transport every last molecule or your money back.

There’s always going to be nay-sayers who argue that it’s impossible, that the Re-Imaginator actually has to kill you before you reappear, and so it can’t be you on the other side because how could that be?  But the proof’s in the pudding, which is especially apt considering that pudding was the first thing that Xercom teleported before it released the XT11 to the public.

People just don’t know what they’re talking about when it comes to technology.  They want to doubt.  They want to bad-mouth innovation.

So, don’t fear change.  This XT11 is here for you.  100 OBO.

408-450-7850 (most times—I have a machine now).

  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Ad #27:

To prove the safety of the XT11, I’ve just zapped my wife.  That’s right.  And she’s fine.  She says there was no pain.  In fact, she says that the Re-Imaginator actually frees you up during the teleportation process—makes you feel light and airy.  (Those are her words, by the way.)  She did admit to a little bit of memory loss and a little light-headedness at first, but a day late, those symptoms have seemed to clear right up.

So, you see, there’s nothing to fear about the XT11.  Listen, change is part of life, but not part of the teleportation process.

$75 and you can walk right out of here with this amazing machine.

408-730-4450(any time—I’m always around).

  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Ad# 35:

I guess it was for the best that you didn’t buy my XT11.  I’m going to keep it and put it away somewhere, safe.  My wife, remember, I told you about her and how I zapped her?  She’s not different, that’s still unchanged.  But she’s decided to leave me because she says I’ve changed.  She can’t tell me why or how, but since I zapped her, she says she’s really noticed the differences in me.  I keep telling her I’m the same, and we know she’s the same, but I don’t know anymore.

Maybe when you boil it down, I just wish we could go back to the day I zapped my wife and not zap her.  Maybe I bought the wrong device.  Who needs a teleporter when a time machine would be so much more useful?  A time machine, a Chronocom 75T, that’s what I need.

If you know someone who wants to make a trade or is selling a time machine cheap—you know the number.  I’ll be waiting.

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Categories: fiction

Author:the circular runner

g. martinez cabrera currently lives in San Francisco with his lovely and talented wife. He holds degrees from Columbia and from the Harvard Divinity School where he spent three years thinking about lofty things. Since then, he tries to write some lofty and some not-so-lofty things down so others can see how lofty he sometimes is. When he’s not writing or spending time with said wife, he tortures young people with learning. He blogs at www.circularrunning.wordpress.com and Tumbls at www.circularrunning.tumblr.com

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